A non-Jew's first Rosh Hashanah, one year after the October 7 Hamas attacks

You may know Rosh Hashanah as the Jewish New Year, and you're mostly right (it's technically the anniversary of creation), but that might be about it. Maybe you have some questions, like: when was Rosh Hashanah 2024 (October 2-4)? What are you supposed to wear (white)? What can you do and not do (don't work, but you don't have to fast)? And a very close friend of mine had a really good one: can I come? The answer: HECK YEAH! 

So baby had her first Rosh Hashanah, and she let me record her questions afterward, in case it could help other Jew-curious individuals like her--or you?

To note: we've known each other a long time, traveled together, met one another's families, and I can assure you she is a real person. But, because of the nature of her work, we decided to keep her anonymous so she could speak freely and ask all her questions. ICYMI: neither she nor I represent any other organization or individual's perspectives or opinions, and all the errors I may make are based on my lived experience and are entirely my own as well (ok Mom?)?

Thanks to my friend and to all of our non-Jewish buddies who ask questions, who want to understand, and to everyone who greets the world with curiosity and openness, to all of you. Special thanks to Washington Hebrew Congregation, and may you all be inscribed in the Book of Life!  

GLOSSARY 

MSA / Fus’ha: Fus'ha is the Arabic name for Modern Standard Arabic (MSA), which is the formal version of the language used in print and media and often taught to foreigners as a foundation for conversational Arabic dialects.

Challot: the plural of challah, the braided Jewish egg-bread we also eat to break fasts and at holidays. 

Yamaka: (also "kippah" or "yarmulke") the little hat Jewish people wear in services, or more observant Jews wear all the time, to show reverence for God.

LINKS

Pittsburgh Synagogue Shooting 

Rabbi Shankman’s Sermon at Washington Hebrew

The Bimah Episode: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2196108/episodes/12958722 

The “who by stoning and who by drowning” prayer: Unetanah Tokef

Ancient History of Jews in Israel: there is some evidence of up to 5000 years of the people who became Jews in Israel (Mission of Israel to the UN in Geneva, Israel Museum), but 3000 is a more generally accepted number than the one I say in the show. More here, and here.

For a deeper understanding, there is no better source than my beloved stepdad, William G. Dever, widely considered the world's foremost Biblical archaeologist (I am biased but this is true). H

Transcript

***This is an AI-generated transcript and has not been copy-edited. The robots are good, but not perfect, please be forgiving!***

[00:00:00] Hannah: Maybe you didn't know that Rosh Hashanah, unlike Passover, is not an at the house holiday. 

[00:00:06] Friend: I quite enjoyed my at the house holiday. 

[00:00:09] Hannah: Yeah, the food based holidays are always great. Happy New Year, or Shana Tovah, as we say in Hebrew, and welcome to the Jewish Rosh Hashanah episode. If you haven't figured it out by now, Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year, but it's not actually the calendar New Year.

[00:00:26] Hannah: It's the anniversary of creation. So I can drop some links for you on that in the show notes as usual. But on this episode, a dear old friend of mine joins to ask questions about her very first Rosh Hashanah. This friend of mine is someone I've known for many years. We met in Oman, as a matter of fact, when I was finishing my master's degrees, and she was studying Arabic.

[00:00:49] Hannah: We both ended up in D. C., like you do, but because of the nature of the work that she does, and because we wanted her to really be able to ask her questions, we decided to let her remain [00:01:00] anonymous. And just to be very, very clear, neither she nor I are representing the opinions or questions or thoughts or feelings of anyone else.

[00:01:09] Hannah: These are all entirely our own ideas and uh, do check the show notes where I check myself on some of them. One other thing, Rosh Hashanah 2024 took place within just a few days of the one year anniversary of the October 7th attacks in Israel. The war and the anniversary are addressed somewhat in this episode, but more so in other episodes.

[00:01:30] Hannah: It primarily came up in the context of Rabbi Susan Shankman's sermon, which is in the show notes, and I highly recommend you give it a watch or a listen. Thanks to my buddy for her curiosity, and thanks to all of you for yours.

[00:01:49] Hannah: I just wish more people who weren't Jewish were like, can I just come? And we're like, yes. 

[00:01:53] Friend: Yeah, it was absolutely a studied request. Yes. Right? Like, I have experienced [00:02:00] Christianity growing up in, you know, my mother being Catholic, my father being Methodist, I lived a good chunk of my adult life in the Middle East where we met.

[00:02:07] Friend: I've been in and out of mosques and the only synagogue I've ever been in didn't have actual people in it. You know, it was like a historic temple. So I feel like, you know, I might've experienced it culturally through your invitations to Passover or Seders with friends or being in Israel or. Whatever, but I have not experienced the liturgy of it and I, it just kind of felt like a gap in my understanding and like both of you as a friend when this is very much a part of your identity, but also of like my stated intent to be open to all people and religions.

[00:02:44] Friend: So yeah, I think it was kind of important of, for my own education and appreciation. 

[00:02:52] Hannah: Your stated intent. To whom did you make that statement? 

[00:02:55] Friend: To myself! Like, I just, I consider myself like a student of, of [00:03:00] life and comparative religion and different cultures. Um, and you know, I think my biggest fear was not specific to this, but like in organized religion you can often feel alienated instead of welcomed.

[00:03:15] Friend: And so that's always just like an awkwardness part of walking into somewhere new. 

[00:03:20] Hannah: Oh yeah. 

[00:03:21] Friend: For sure. 

[00:03:22] Hannah: Is that something that you, for example, when, have you tried other, like, flavors of Christianity than the one you grew up in and have you felt that there? 

[00:03:29] Friend: Absolutely. I mean, I think we all end up going through weddings and funerals and different events into places we might not have otherwise wandered or because it's important to our friends and who they are and yeah, sometimes it can be uncomfortable or alienating or a very strong view.

[00:03:49] Friend: A spouse that you might not hold instead of what I, I take to be kind of the most beautiful and universal parts of religion, which is like the, you know, praying for the [00:04:00] innocent and the, the golden rule and values that you see woven throughout. So yeah, I think that's always just kind of a consideration in my mind and has nothing to do with any one religion or experience.

[00:04:13] Hannah: This is the whole thing is like all of it is just so based upon whoever the leader of the congregation is. And also the culture, right? Like from congregation to congregation, regardless of religion, from church to church, culture can be different. And it has everything to do with just groups of people.

[00:04:28] Hannah: Groups of people determine culture together. But I'm just curious, how did it feel for you to walk into the synagogue? 

[00:04:34] Friend: So, and this is a bit of a, a sad first impression, but I think it's important in this moment in time to share it. So you sent me the link to sign up and you were like, Rosh Hashanah, always super busy, you have to have a spot to get in advance.

[00:04:48] Friend: Got it. So I signed up and I noticed like several degrees of like firewalls and links and identification to get the ticket, which kind of set my spidey senses off. And then while I was waiting for you out [00:05:00] front. It's the perimeter security and the metal detectors. And you're like, Oh, this is the moment in time in America where after Pittsburgh, like the anti Semitism is so pronounced that like people on their holiest of days of celebration have to take this defensive posture even in, in America.

[00:05:20] Friend: Like what does that say about where we're at in this moment in time and our culture of like gun violence? And I just, it was like a really. Sad realization at a moment that's supposed to be just like, so happy 

[00:05:32] Hannah: new 

[00:05:33] Friend: year. 

[00:05:33] Hannah: Yeah. I mean, first of all, thank you for noticing that and like having such a compassionate response to it.

[00:05:40] Hannah: It's, we're so oddly acclimated to it, I guess, that it's like, but I mean, that's actually a really good analogy, sadly, for just like the Jewish experience of living in pretty much every society except for Israel, which are majority non Jewish societies, which is, oh yeah, we understand that just existing is a risk.

[00:05:58] Hannah: Like, wherever we [00:06:00] are. We understand that it could all boil over and we could become a target at any time for any reason, for no reason. And it's, um, I mean even growing up in Tucson at our little synagogue with our relatively small but like, you know, very participatory, very, you know, visible Jewish community.

[00:06:19] Hannah: We always had police at the doors for High Holy Days in the early 2000s, but Pittsburgh definitely changed things and I don't even want to know what like the inboxes for Washington Hebrew look like right now. I think that it's a really hard balance. I can't imagine the conversations of like, how do we make sure that our Um, worshipers feel that sense of not just joy but like reverence and also make sure that they're safe and that whatever we know that we don't want them to know that maybe they can sense it but we don't want them to feel policed.

[00:06:53] Friend: Absolutely. And it's sad that you make that point about acclimatization because I think the same thing [00:07:00] about like metal detectors on schools. Like kids are supposed to have a safe space of learning and instead what's meant to be joyful and formative has now become like this, this experience. I think it was probably pretty front of mind to me because I was recently in Auschwitz, um, about that.

[00:07:15] Friend: You could become a victim at any time, which is super heavy and not a thing where, you know, I hoped this conversation would start. 

[00:07:23] Hannah: No, but I'm glad, again, like it's so interesting to me that that's one of the first things that jumped out at you because, again, like seeing it through your eyes. I suddenly noticed it.

[00:07:32] Hannah: You know what I mean? You know, it's like when you meet someone for the first time and you're like, this is my family. And you're like, oh shit, my family's weird. Oh, I didn't realize how weird they are. You know? 

[00:07:40] Friend: Well, to share some like, I guess, lighter other first impressions with you. One, like, I've been in Israel, I know on Shabbat a lot of, especially like being around Orthodox communities there, New York, wherever.

[00:07:54] Friend: Like, they're not using electricity, et cetera, et cetera. So I'm walking in and I'm like, why are so many people walking? Is [00:08:00] it the parking situation? Oh, oh. Got it. It's the observance. Okay. No, actually, in this case, it 

[00:08:05] Hannah: was the parking situation. And then 

[00:08:06] Friend: I'm like, rolling up, like, talking on my cell phone and I'm like, oh, ooh.

[00:08:11] Friend: Is that not a done thing because we don't use electricity on this day? Like, and I know this was a reformed congregation, so probably less frowned upon than it might have been. I 

[00:08:18] Hannah: mean, that's such a good question. And like, it's, it's a great question coming from someone who knows just enough to have like a good question.

[00:08:24] Hannah: It is actually, you're not supposed to be thinking about work. Uh. So like, I definitely came home and hopped on my computer, sorry mom. And like, should I have? No, I was absolutely not supposed to be doing that. You are supposed to be in reverie. You are supposed to be reflecting, literally, on like. If I die next year, that's what that Book of Life shit's all about.

[00:08:45] Hannah: If, if God chooses me to be one who dies in, in famine or war or hanging or whatever, have I, have I cleaned and taken care of my business? Have, have I left wounds that I've caused [00:09:00] healed? Or people better than I found them? Or have I caused a scar? on this earth that I've not tended to, and that's what will be left when I'm gone.

[00:09:10] Hannah: And like, that's what you're supposed to be thinking about. So like, getting on my computer and being like, Hey guys, what videos are we making? Like, maybe not the best. So that's why you're not, even in DC, you're not seeing people on their phones at Rosh Hashanah. You're not. And you know, at least this is how I was raised.

[00:09:24] Hannah: There are things that, for example, if you are in a situation where someone needs your help, you have to help them. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what you're doing. Rosh Hashanah or Shabbat. It's no excuse if somebody like needs your help existentially or like you're in a position where their well being is, you know, chill, kids, whatever you, that comes first and it's okay.

[00:09:43] Hannah: You are forgiven.

[00:09:51] Friend: Speaking of things that jumped out at me, one, I didn't know until embarrassingly late in the service when you told me that the [00:10:00] two little tombstone looking things were the tablets with the 10 commandments, which should be hugely evident in like Judeo Christian culture writ large. Um, I was just like, why do they have, like, tombstones behind 

[00:10:13] Hannah: the altar?

[00:10:14] Hannah: That is so funny. And also, now that you say it, I'm like, yeah, of course they look like tombstones. Right? Like, and, and then you were like, oh, it's Ten 

[00:10:20] Friend: Commandments. I was like, that's not a lot of words. And you were like, it's abbreviated version. And then, when they opened up, again, didn't occur to me that it was an ark.

[00:10:29] Friend: Which, again, Ark of the Covenant, I've, I've seen the movies, like, how could I not know this? What, Raiders of the Lost Ark? And then everybody's facing, and I was like, what are those, like, stick things in burlap sacks? And then you finally tell me it's the scrolls and you need to touch them. 

[00:10:45] Hannah: Oh my gosh. These 

[00:10:46] Friend: things should have been self evident.

[00:10:47] Hannah: I totally disagree. I disagree that they should be self evident. And I'm so grateful. Like, this is the stuff that I love. In my head, I can make certain assumptions about you as a pretty well educated, erudite, well traveled person. [00:11:00] So, in my head, I'm like, Oh, I don't want to, like, be condescending and, like, tell her a bunch of shit that she probably already knows.

[00:11:05] Hannah: And then I was like, I don't know, this is a weird setting. And it's so funny because not only did I not just be like, those are the Torahs by the way, which I should have done. There's no reason you should have known that. I should have done that. I even was like, the Torahs are wearing all white just like people because they're in their holiday dresses.

[00:11:22] Hannah: And I saw the lightbulb go on. 

[00:11:25] Friend: Okay, you, I googled it about the white and then you told me about it and then I rocked my white blazer and I was like, nobody else here is wearing white. That's so true. A lot of us were wearing white ish. How apropos for Jew ish, the podcast. 

[00:11:36] Hannah: Yes. And actually my dress was like blue with white flowers, which is, I was like, oh, this is super weirdly 

[00:11:42] Friend: appropriate.

[00:11:42] Friend: And I get where you're coming from because it was this strange dichotomy of things that like I inherently recognized and things that were so foreign to me. Okay. Okay. You know, we're going through and they're reading all this stuff from the book of Genesis and I'm like, Oh, I got that. I know that one.

[00:11:56] Friend: It's totally familiar. Um, and I've actually read it in the Koran as [00:12:00] well. I was actually 

[00:12:01] Hannah: going to ask, did you, were you able to pluck out a lot of stuff from the Hebrew because of your Arabic? 

[00:12:06] Friend: Well, and I expected to do more because I went, when, when I lived in Jordan, I would be like right by the Israeli border and then the radio stations would switch.

[00:12:15] Friend: So, And I'd be like, Oh my God, I only speak a lot less Arabic than I thought I did. But I still Oh wait, that's Hebrew. I understand it. But, oh wait, it's Hebrew. So I was waiting for that, that to click. But I don't know, maybe it's because it was a bunch of Americans pronouncing it. 

[00:12:29] Hannah: It's actually because liturgical Hebrew is, is totally different.

[00:12:33] Hannah: So it's 

[00:12:33] Friend: like Whereas Quranic Arabic is literally the MSA that we learned. 

[00:12:36] Hannah: Exactly. And, yes. And thinking about it that way, it's actually a good analogy. The, um, Fusha versus conversational Arabic, liturgical Hebrew versus conversational Hebrew. Okay. So it's like, it's not quite as extremely different because like, nobody speaks MSA.

[00:12:50] Hannah: Not in the street. But there are words, for example, that you'll hear in the Torah, or that you'll, well, not so much in the Torah, but that you'll hear in the liturgy that people do use when they're speaking, [00:13:00] but it's not the same. It's colloquial versus liturgical. 

[00:13:03] Friend: Well, I think the, uh, I guess I'll call it like a song or hymn or whatever that I liked best, it was like something that ended in malaknu.

[00:13:11] Hannah: Malkenu. 

[00:13:12] Friend: Malkenu. Because in my head, I was like, Oh, Malek, the king. I know this. That's right. Our king. Absolutely. Except for the translation said the merciful. 

[00:13:20] Hannah: Well, Reformed synagogues have been very careful to de genderize the language in the translations. 

[00:13:27] Friend: Oh, interesting. But it is a gender. 

[00:13:28] Hannah: It's Alvinu Malkenu is our father, our king.

[00:13:31] Hannah: And that's one of the most important and central prayers and that's probably the one you're thinking of. 

[00:13:34] Friend: Absolutely. Yeah. No, I like, they put something to music and I was like, Oh, this one's a nice one. And then it's one of my favorites. Um, the hidden choir in the rafters came on in and I was like, where have you guys been all along?

[00:13:44] Friend: They've been hiding in the rafters. They would have done a service to some of the people that were on the struggle bus through some of the others. 

[00:13:51] Hannah: Listen, I was on the struggle bus. It's so funny because that, that is for sure one of my absolute favorite prayers. And it's like, operatic. And when they [00:14:00] come in, so this, this, Washington Hebrew does a really beautiful presentation, which is like both really accessible in a weird way, because we, so we walked in at the same time as the rabbis, and they were just like walking in the back, just like everybody else in their robes.

[00:14:13] Hannah: And I know you saw at one point, like, I made eye contact with one of them, and I was like, Shanah tovah, Rabbi, and he was like, Oh, hey. And so it's like, they're both very accessible. And at the same time, I feel like greet the service with appropriate majesty. But I love the way that they do that where they have that hidden choir and it comes in over the, the back, I don't know, backstop?

[00:14:34] Hannah: That's not the right word. Behind the ark? And like, and also their cantor has just the most gorgeous voice. She has a beautiful voice. 

[00:14:41] Friend: Okay, so she's the cantor, she's not one of the rabbis, or she does both? 

[00:14:45] Hannah: Ahem. So. 

[00:14:47] Friend: I was, I was unclear on that, because, like, in Catholic Mass, they've got, like, the singer lady, but it's clearly a lady, and only priests are men, so I was like, what's her status?

[00:14:56] Hannah: That is a very, very good question. So, um, the cantorial [00:15:00] soloist is a specific job. It's probably similar to the structure in churches where you have your song leader and then you have like your prayer leader. The thing that is different is that cantors can lead certain parts and do, as you saw, lead certain parts of the service.

[00:15:14] Hannah: They are trained in the liturgy. They do work under the supervision of rabbis, but in some synagogues, they are partners with rabbis. And so it sort of depends on the level of training that they have. There's a, there's a minimum level of training one must have to be a cantor, and there are skill sets one must know that you don't necessarily have to have to be a rabbi and vice versa.

[00:15:35] Hannah: So, one of the things I wanted to point out to you, but you seemed really focused, which I really appreciated, and I did not want to fuck up your experience by being like, I saw those little marks that you see on the letters. Some of them are vowels and some of them are called tropes. And a trope is what tells you how to sing a word.

[00:15:49] Hannah: But like, I find that nerdy shit really, really interesting. 

[00:15:53] Friend: Okay, yeah, no, I would have been interested because I do know the vowelized text and, you know, and it was, yeah, language is [00:16:00] fascinating. I can't barely read music because I might be tone deaf. Chanting is probably perfect for you. But also I appreciate that you viewed my hyper focus because sometimes I very much was and other times I was looking at, off to the right there's this like beautiful piece of artwork, it's blue, it reminds me of the ocean and I was like, I could be peaceful here.

[00:16:17] Hannah: Yeah? Yeah. I love, the sanctuary there is very beautiful, but in general I love sanctuaries, especially when they're empty. Mm. Because they are exactly what they're supposed to be, right? They are sacred space. And sacred, of course, I'm sure you know this, the etymology of the word sacred is to be set apart.

[00:16:32] Hannah: Mm hmm. It is to be separate. And I remember being a kid. And being like, I can't believe it's unlocked, or I can just go in. And then I later realized, of course, like, that's the 

[00:16:41] Friend: point. Also, the kids were all super behaved. I'm used to the mayhem of people running around and screaming. Like the moment of silent reflection was actually silent.

[00:16:51] Hannah: We be serious, girl. We're reflecting. Mm hmm. But I think I loved, for example, that the little girl in the, in the row next to us like just had her coloring book and she had her little cars [00:17:00] or whatever. And I was like, oh my gosh. And again, seeing it through your eyes. I'm looking at it like, that was me.

[00:17:05] Hannah: Like my whole childhood. Was I required to know all the prayers as a kid? No. Was I required to read the book and sit quietly next to my mom and act like a little adult? No. I think that the reason so many of the kids were so well behaved is because they're just allowed to be kids. Here, color your coloring book.

[00:17:20] Hannah: Here, read your book. That's fine. Just sit here and be with us. And that was how I was raised, and so, all of these prayers feel very familiar to me. All this liturgy is like, in my head. I have a favorite prayer.

[00:17:37] Friend: I have two outstanding questions that I would like to pose. Um, one, because we were kind of towards the back. Yes. And I was roaming my eyes over the whole congregation. The yarmulke thing. Like, I see the barrettes, and I can, I can see how the men with hair keep it on, but also bald men [00:18:00] are wearing it, and also men without barrettes are wearing it.

[00:18:03] Friend: Is there an adhesive on the inside? Is it Velcro? That is such a good question. How does it stay in place? I, 

[00:18:09] Hannah: uh, first of all, favorite question ever, and great, great question, yes, and I remember what I'm loving about this conversation is so many of the things that you're noticing and wondering about are things I remember noticing and wondering about as a kid.

[00:18:20] Hannah: And I love it. I think it's so great. So, um, the answer is both yes and sometimes. And so I think it's like, it depends on what they're made of. Some of them are like a very soft leather, which is just a little bit, you know, it kind of sticks. And if you've got a chrome dough, it's got a nice little friction on there.

[00:18:34] Hannah: But yeah, some of them do have that like sticky silicone on the inside that you get in like the top of your leggings sometimes or like a sleeveless dress. Some of them have that. And some of them do actually have velcro that like sticks to people's hair, which is like cute, but also I feel bad for them with my curls.

[00:18:49] Hannah: When 

[00:18:49] Friend: you take it off and they have a bad hair day. All I can think about is the 

[00:18:52] Hannah: frizz, but I'm sure it's fine for whoever chooses that option. And you know, I think some of them are just like weirdly the right [00:19:00] shape for people's heads and just stay on if you put them in the right place. Oh, 

[00:19:04] Friend: it's like when you find that dress with the perfect fit and you're like, I can never gain or lose a pound.

[00:19:09] Hannah: Exactly. 

[00:19:11] Friend: Okay, next question. Uh, so, the BEMA, where all the VIPs were seated with the former presidents and stuff. Did you google the BEMA? No, I listened to your podcast. Oh my god. That was like episode one. Good job. Uh, so, also they said it, and I am a learning person over here. But that's a lot of words to remember.

[00:19:29] Friend: Are they? So, you know, they introduced them all by their position. I guess I liken it to like deacons or whatever in a church, but then I also was thought maybe they were on the board. So are they donors or are they just like extra religious people in the community or some combination of the two? 

[00:19:44] Hannah: Um, the broad answer would be a combination of the two, but traditionally they, they are.

[00:19:50] Hannah: It's an honorific, right? So I don't know enough about deacons and what they do, but that sounds right. It sounds like similar, but so as, as they were going through and introducing them, you [00:20:00] usually have the president and often the past president of the congregation. 

[00:20:03] Friend: Is that a real job, like a full time job?

[00:20:06] Friend: Because one of them was the general counsel, and I thought, he must be paid and must also have other clients. 

[00:20:12] Hannah: Oh yeah, especially right now. And I thought it was really interesting, especially in light of the rabbi's sermon. This year, uh, I think that the general counsel probably deserves an honorific. I think that the president is actually not a paid job.

[00:20:26] Hannah: It's basically a full time job. But it is generally unpaid, but for the most part, they just have a really huge role in the administration and the maintenance of the synagogue. But at least, as I recall, they're also often a fundraiser. They're often, like, very good at fundraising. You know, making sure that the people in the community who might have like interest in the synagogue or interest in the congregation or have mutual benefit or contacts or context, mutual context with the synagogue are involved.

[00:20:57] Hannah: So it's more about like, uh, one of the things [00:21:00] that I, I read says, think of them as the chief volunteer, which I think is really cute and I like that. Um, but you know, of course, as with any unpaid gig, people get into it for the right reasons and they get into it for the wrong reasons. 

[00:21:11] Mm hmm. 

[00:21:11] Hannah: And, and of course, my mom having been the education director, the board passes all the budgets, the board, you know, um, makes the decisions about the fiscal year and like all that stuff and oh my god.

[00:21:21] Hannah: The angst between the rabbis and the boards, and the drama, it's like academic drama, it's like next level, girl. And 

[00:21:28] Friend: that, and that has like always been a reticence of mine with organized religion, right? Like, this is just about being closer to your God or whatever, and yet all of these trappings And all of the interpersonal dynamics that go along with it and, and now in this moment, all the external considerations.

[00:21:51] Friend: I 

[00:21:51] Hannah: mean we do, at the end of the day, in the U. S. especially. We have to make these institutions function in a capitalist society, right? So even with your [00:22:00] tax benefits, like, you still have to pay for stuff. You still have to get money from somewhere. You still have to have some sort of financial or institutional or governmental or whatever support.

[00:22:10] Hannah: And so, yeah, it's kind of ugly and it's kind of gross. I totally agree with that. But I also like that it doesn't fall on the, you On the religious staff, right? Like, I'm glad the rabbi doesn't have to be the chief fundraiser. I'm sure that they play their role. I know that they do. Especially, again, it depends on the congregation and the community and da da da da da.

[00:22:30] Hannah: Um, so yeah, the rabbi has to make decisions based on whatever resources are allocated by the board. And, for example, you know, the curriculum for the Sunday school has to be approved. And again, these bylaws are congregation by congregation. And that's another thing, especially with Reform Judaism, but Judaism in general, it's all decentralized.

[00:22:47] Hannah: So, like, there is no official organization that represents Reform Judaism. There is no official, you know, cabinet of the rabbis of blah blah blah. There are multiple organizations, but, like, you don't have [00:23:00] to be a member, you don't have to follow their rules. Like, they'll do things like guidelines and studies and provide resources and you can be part of it for, like, support and thought sharing and education and that kind of thing.

[00:23:11] Hannah: The whole point of Judaism, especially Reform Judaism, is it's not top down. It's not, like God, and then the pope, and then the cardinals, and then the bishops, and then the, you know, there's none of that. It's, there's God, and then there's us. Right. All of us in the room. Yeah. 

[00:23:27] Friend: Well, and that's, I think, one of the things that, and maybe it's you who's expressed this to me, or I've read it, that I do find interesting and attractive is that constant, like, openness to questioning and direct relationships.

[00:23:41] Friend: Another question I had for you, I guess, about this congregation. Uh, was how aligned do you think the group was with the message that was shared? We had gotten to the end of the sermon, and it was just, or the end of the, what I thought was the end, because they said something about [00:24:00] closing, and there hadn't been a sermon yet, and I was like, well, I guess this is just a lot of chants, and standing and sitting, and touching Torahs, um.

[00:24:09] Friend: Unless 

[00:24:10] Hannah: you couldn't touch the Torah, because the girl next to you wouldn't move. It's okay, I forgive you. It was rude. It was rude. You were clearly trying to And I was close to the end, what the hell, it was like two people, it's fine. I forgive her, that's what we're doing right now. 

[00:24:21] Friend: Okay. Very generous of you.

[00:24:23] Friend: So yeah, just like we had gotten to that end and I was like, oh wow, this is just, this is the thing. It's not even going to be remotely uncomfortable. You 

[00:24:29] Hannah: thought we were going to get out of there without Israel coming up? 

[00:24:32] Friend: Well, I mean, Israel came up a lot in terms of like references to the tribe and the people of Israel throughout.

[00:24:38] Friend: Right. Like the actual ancestral connection. The actual ancestral connection. 

[00:24:41] Hannah: Yes, the 5, 000 years ago we were actually in Israel does come up a lot. 

[00:24:47] Friend: I did appreciate that the Israeli flag was one step down intentionally from the American flag. Interesting. 

[00:24:53] Hannah: I actually did not notice. 

[00:24:54] Friend: Things I noticed. Okay.

[00:24:56] Friend: All right, you patriot. Go on. But no, I just was curious. [00:25:00] I mean, like, I thought that her Her message came across very balanced, very compassionate, um, but she also prefaced it with like, I know I have the power of the microphone and a lot of people may or may not agree with me here. So I kind of wondered like, what's the tenor?

[00:25:13] Friend: Did they get a lot of feedback on where, where that line should be? Or is this? Is her expressed view reflective of the majority of the congregation? 

[00:25:24] Hannah: Rabbi Shankman is particularly gifted, in my opinion, in making sure that the space is inclusive. 

[00:25:29] Mm hmm. 

[00:25:29] Hannah: Regardless of specific content, if that makes sense.

[00:25:34] Hannah: Like, again, how they went out of their way through multiple points in the service. To make sure and acknowledge our non Jewish friends, family members, partners, supporters, allies. Just thanks for existing. Thanks for loving us. Thanks for letting us exist in a safe world as much as you can. But also, you know, I would say the innate Jewish understanding is this is one individual's opinion.

[00:25:58] Hannah: She is a community leader [00:26:00] and acknowledged that in her opening. She was like, my job. is to lead you. My job is to bring us together and make sure that you feel welcome and loved here, and you are, and, and having said that, I am one person with the responsibility. I have a responsibility of having a, an opinion.

[00:26:22] Hannah: I, and I respect that, and I think that's something, in honesty, I think Americans Want more of in their leaders, especially in the last 10, 20 years is like, I would love a leader with an opinion who is willing to spend some political or moral capital to say it out loud, fight for it. Respect me if I disagree with you.

[00:26:42] Hannah: And so I don't think that this rose to that level. I think that for the most If you're in a room full of Jews, most of them acknowledge that Israel is a nation state in the modern sense, but is also our ancestral heritage. I don't think you're going to get a lot of argument about [00:27:00] that in a room full of Jews.

[00:27:02] Hannah: I don't think you're going to get a lot of argument either that there are millions of innocent Palestinians suffering and that we want that to stop. 

[00:27:10] And 

[00:27:11] Hannah: I think that she did a very good job of acknowledging what I think a lot of us feel and don't feel safe to express, which is. I can believe that Israel has a right to exist and also that this conduct, unforgivable and inexcusable.

[00:27:26] Hannah: I can also discern between a political entity, a religious entity, an ethnic minority, And the realities of living as a Jew in the diaspora. I, Hannah, the American Jew, I am not responsible for Benjamin Netanyahu's behavior. I have my opinions about his individual behavior, and I think it's reprehensible.

[00:27:49] Hannah: We have our opinions about this political entity. In the same way that we as Americans have opinions about this political entity and it doesn't make me no longer a citizen or no [00:28:00] longer an American because I believe that this president or that president did not represent me or my interests. The other thing I think that she did a really good job of acknowledging, which is, again, Much easier acknowledged in a room full of Jews, especially a room full of American Jews.

[00:28:17] Hannah: There is a line. I am not a citizen of Israel. I am an American Jew. I am not actually represented by Israel. And so it is very important to call out, as I think she did, that when you conflate the behavior of this political entity With, quote, Jews, end quote, that is anti Semitism, unequivocally. And I think that I don't, again, regardless of whether or not anybody in that room agreed with her sentiments in terms of centering the hostages versus the Palestinians or, you know, Netanyahu specifically.

[00:28:53] Friend: I saw a lot of people move to tears and I mean, I'm dead inside, so. Wasn't, wasn't going to get me, [00:29:00] but like, I, I absolutely understand. 

[00:29:02] Hannah: Well, my brother has been in and out of bomb shelters for the last three days and, uh, making challot in between when he can to like support his girlfriend's family. His, her father is, uh, you know, a very, very sick.

[00:29:17] Hannah: So they're dodging in and out of bomb shelters while he's baking Rosh Hashanah challah and sending us pictures. And I'm just like, how are things? So, you know. The surrealness of sitting in that room and trying to express the complexity of feeling of solidarity with the hostages and their family and the Palestinians.

[00:29:41] Hannah: And the sense of, at least speaking for myself, the sense of moral betrayal that I feel in what's being allowed to happen to them by this state that claims to represent me and all my interests. And I could go there and be safe at any time. And I'm like, really? Am I safe right now? I think that the point was she felt the burden.[00:30:00] 

[00:30:00] Hannah: As she expressed of having to speak and that as a leader, she had an obligation to be sure that the members of her congregation knows where she stands and therefore, also, if you disagree, we can talk about it. And she did say, please do reach out to me. I'm creating a space here. There's never a time where your feelings don't matter, where your existence isn't real, where your experience of this isn't just as valid as mine is.

[00:30:29] Hannah: I just know that I am a person who is standing in the center of this community and I have an obligation to speak. And so to answer your larger question, I think it's very well understood in Jewish circles in general. But especially in like a politically very highly aware and generally more highly educated civil society as we have in D.

[00:30:52] Hannah: C., you, you can't really get away with saying nothing. And um, I think it's safer and better to plant your [00:31:00] flag and be like, I'm here for all of you though. I'm here for everyone and I'm here to listen. And I think she does a really good job of walking the line of like, I have to say this thing and I can tell you my moral reasons why.

[00:31:11] Really? Uh huh. 

[00:31:12] Hannah: And I understand why you might not agree with that. And there's still space for you here. You belong here. You still belong here. This is still your family. 

[00:31:21] Friend: And that's where I exited because I, I really had to go to work. I know you're not supposed to work on that day. Well, you're not Jewish, so you're okay.

[00:31:28] Friend: And And I did not want to stand up and walk out in the middle of her giving this message and it be perceived as some sort of political statement. It was just really about a timing thing because you told me it was going to take an hour and a half and we were there for two 

[00:31:41] Hannah: hours. That's true. I should have, I should have said 1.

[00:31:44] Hannah: 5 to 2. I should have given you a heads up. 

[00:31:46] Friend: Like this marathon experience and you've told me like the High Holy Days, you're supposed to do it at the synagogue. But what happens next? There is like a big lunch, right? 

[00:31:54] Hannah: Uh, I didn't stay. So like, yes, there is a traditional, [00:32:00] there's no fast. This is not a fasting holiday.

[00:32:02] Hannah: Yom Kippur is our fasting holiday where there is a break fast after the service. And that's more universally like, everyone come have a bite of bread, you know. And also, the Yom Kippur is considered like the, the Shabbat of all Shabbats. And so, when we end Yom Kippur, you have your piece of challah and you can move into your like, quote unquote, normal life again.

[00:32:18] Hannah: But yes, it's a lovely part of the tradition and I wish I had stayed.

[00:32:27] I, I also feel 

[00:32:31] Hannah: like you're doing a really good mix of like, the really high minded questions and the really like, how the fuck do the yarmulkes stay on? 

[00:32:39] Friend: Okay, well, obviously you've known me for long enough to know that my mind exists in this split world between high minded and very simple practical considerations.

[00:32:52] Hannah: Was there anything that really surprised you that was either like surprisingly familiar or was like shockingly [00:33:00] like, I have no idea what the hell I'm looking at or hearing right now? 

[00:33:04] Friend: I think I already mentioned a lot of it was familiar. I mean, just being arrayed in pews, looking at a central altar, book of Genesis, like, there's a lot going on that I'm familiar with from a Christianity background, um, and I've made enough academic study that there's some things that I wasn't surprised to see pop up or are very much ingrained in our pop culture.

[00:33:30] Friend: Yeah. So it was, I, I would say in general. It felt familiar as any religious service that I've taken part in. To the point that was actually kind of nice, and maybe this makes me a universalist in some sense. Aw. Where you're like, oh, this is a different liturgy, but it's the same message being expressed.

[00:33:54] Friend: It's just people trying to feel closer to God, and this is their path to it. [00:34:00] And it's nice, and I can see from very like a meditative sense how, how that liturgy draws you in. And it was a very pleasant experience in a way. No, I mean, I also think I already took you through the surprises of like, what are those, those, those pillars?

[00:34:20] Hannah: The thing has opened? Is it on wheels? Is it electronic? They do have a very fancy mechanized arc. It is very fancy. I sort of love the drama of like the slow parting of the tablet. Also, do 

[00:34:31] Friend: you always torture your converts because those, I thought that kid up front was like an altar boy. I don't, I don't know what I thought his function was.

[00:34:42] Friend: And then you made him sing for, like, a page in Hebrew, which he clearly just learned. 

[00:34:48] Hannah: So, so, so you're, so two things. That was a recent bar mitzvah, and actually, huge honor as a bar mitzvah. This is the biggest service of the year. [00:35:00] So to be a new bar mitzvah and chant from the bima. It's like the highest honor you can get.

[00:35:06] Hannah: So he probably hated it, but also loved it. The girl who you're thinking of, she was a new member. 

[00:35:13] Friend: Okay. And so I thought she was like new to the religion. No. 

[00:35:16] Hannah: So there was the, there was the young, but there were, but again, like welcoming, there were converts that they had as well. But again, being on the Bema and reciting the Torah for the high holy days is like the highest honor you can get.

[00:35:30] Hannah: So it's really huge. I agree to 

[00:35:31] Friend: disagree. I'm not a big fan of public shaming, like . Oh 

[00:35:34] Hannah: no. You can say no. Well, the whole thing is like, you can be invited and say, no thank you. Okay. So it's more like, Hey, we've, we've invited you. Like, that's the honor. Mm-Hmm. The honor is being asked, you know, maybe in more conservative congregations or like, who knows more dogmatic con congregations.

[00:35:48] Hannah: Mm-Hmm. . There's like a, we asked you and you said, no, now you're pressure, you're out. You know what I mean? No, just kidding. They wouldn't kick you out, but like, maybe people will be like, oh, okay. And cock an eyebrow at it. But really the. Nobody's doing anything [00:36:00] under coercion. And also I, I love that you're like, Oh, ouch.

[00:36:04] Hannah: And I'm like, girl, that's all of us. Cause the thing is, and this is part of, it makes me even reflect on like, The uniting ritual of the suffering of being a 13 year old and standing in front of your entire congregation being like, I can't sing, but I'm trying and it's embarrassing. And my favorite was the girl who was like, oh wait, and then she got out you girl.

[00:36:22] Hannah: Yeah, that was so 

[00:36:22] Friend: hilarious. I 

[00:36:23] Hannah: feel you. And you heard the whole congregation chuckle. We're like, we got you. Like, we're behind you. Because we've all been there, literally. We 13 year old standing in front of hundreds of people being like, Oh God, I'm gonna fuck this up. And then you do. It's a rite of passage.

[00:36:38] Friend: I thought the shofars were nice. I had never seen one in real life before. I like it. It's cute. And they were like so long and curvy. It was clear there's a discrepancy in talent with those things. Well, experience. Experience. Perhaps, yes. And some were lovely, and even a little show offy, and some, I was like, they let you on the stage?

[00:36:56] Friend: But 

[00:36:56] Hannah: again, it's like a big honor, right? So there's classes that you can take to [00:37:00] learn how to blow the show far. And each congregation has at least one, maybe apparently two in this case, because let me tell you, these guys were really good. Uh, Grand Bal Takiyah is the name of 

[00:37:11] Friend: Remember Takiyah? They kept saying that one over and over again.

[00:37:15] Friend: That's the main one. And I loved the factoid that you shared that, um, in Israel people will, like, roam the streets so that everybody can hear the shofar on Rosh Hashanah. I thought that was very nice. It kind of likened, like, Christmas carols in my mind. Yeah. Like, just bring everybody in because it's not always about the place, right?

[00:37:31] Friend: Exactly. It's about the community. 

[00:37:33] Hannah: Exactly. The thing is that the shofar ushers in the Days of Awe, right? The 10 Days of Awe are the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. 

[00:37:42] And 

[00:37:43] Hannah: as you heard in the liturgy, Rosh Hashanah marks the quote unquote opening of the Book of Life and Yom Kippur is the closing of it, the sealing of it.

[00:37:52] Hannah: And may you be inscribed in the Book of Life. Literally, to be alive throughout the next year, as you heard us at, you know, this is the [00:38:00] time. God has decided. No 

[00:38:01] Friend: ambiguity there. 

[00:38:02] Hannah: Who by stoning and who by drowning, you know what I mean? Like, oh, it's coming for you. Is it this year? Maybe. And so there's a little bit, I sort of understand it more.

[00:38:11] Hannah: Of the like, oh right, it's funny as I get older, it's sort of like watching the same movie over and over again as you get older. Mm. Where it's like I'm catching different parts of it now than I did when I was a kid. Where like, all of that was sort of like, oh yeah, shit happens, and it's like, no, no, no!

[00:38:27] Hannah: This is telling you, you might die, so go say sorry. Go apologize to people. Get your shit right. 

[00:38:33] Mm hmm. 

[00:38:34] Hannah: Cause it, this could be it. And if you die tomorrow, how you gonna feel about how people feel about you? Yeah. So, it's quite literal. And so you blow the shofar to open the Book of Life at Rosh Hashanah, and you blow the shofar.

[00:38:47] Hannah: There's especially, there's just one procession of the shofar blowing. Mm hmm. And then the Book of Life is closed. 

[00:38:54] Friend: I'm there for it. For the shorter one because that one was really long. I liked it! It was lovely. [00:39:00] It just kept going. And again, because I thought that was the end, I was like, okay, I'm here for it.

[00:39:05] Friend: And then the sermon happened. Oh my God. So yeah. And again, that's, I, this is why I'm not in fact actually religious because I get a little antsy and maybe It's just my mind wanders, um, and there was no ritual wine involved in this because we, I feel like there's been a lot of like the Seders and the Passovers and there was nothing.

[00:39:26] Friend: It was dry. 

[00:39:27] Hannah: We like our wine. You left early. What do you want? 

[00:39:31] Friend: But no, it was beautiful. Thank you for. sharing the experience with 

[00:39:34] Hannah: me. I'm so glad you came. And I, I honestly, I can't thank you enough for wanting to. And so, you know, thank you for your curiosity and thank you for your interest and I hope you felt welcome.

[00:39:50] Hannah: Thanks for listening to Jew ish produced, recorded, and edited by me, Hannah Gaber. If you like what you hear, please go ahead and leave us a 5 star [00:40:00] rating and a review, I'd love to hear from ya. But perhaps most importantly, give us a follow and tell a friend. The whole point of Jew ish is to demystify whatever it means to be Jewish.

[00:40:11] Hannah: So, you don't have to be one to be here. Don't forget to check the show notes for links and a glossary of words that you maybe have never heard before. Or maybe have and never knew what they meant. And didn't have a Jewish friend to ask. Until now. Jew ish is a Samor production.